


Obliteration

by harlequin (julie)



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-15
Updated: 2010-03-15
Packaged: 2017-11-06 15:35:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,091
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/420457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julie/pseuds/harlequin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin seeks… a remorseless kind of comfort from Sir Leon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Obliteration

**Author's Note:**

> For sequanne, because a mutual friend told me she hankered for this pairing…
> 
> This draws on episode 208 _The Sins of the Father_. To briefly set the scene, I have paraphrased my own fic! How embarrassing is that! But only to save you all re–reading much the same set–up.

♦

> _In the midst of it all, Arthur had said directly to Merlin, ‘Surely not everyone who practices magic can be evil.’ Raw and brave and intelligent enough to question everything he’d been brought up to believe. And in that moment, Merlin had dared to imagine a time in which Arthur knew him for who he really was, and still considered him a friend._  
> 
> 
>   
> _And yet soon enough, once they’d returned to Camelot, Arthur was saying, ‘I’m indebted to you, Merlin. I had become… confused. It is once again clear to me that those who practice magic are evil and dangerous. And that is thanks to you.’_  
> 
> 
>   
> _The irony of it felt almost familiar by now. ‘Glad I could help.’_

♦

Merlin had felt utterly wrecked all afternoon and all evening, and tears constantly welled heavy in his eyes even if they never quite fell. He needed… he needed something to obliterate this… this grief. Comfort wouldn’t do it. Neither would sympathy, no matter how well intended. Not even understanding. He needed something stronger. Something remorseless. And Merlin thought of a decent man who he’d long felt had the potential to be a friend.

♦

The knights had their own hall in which they gathered each evening. It was always loud there and often raucous, and it wasn’t necessarily a safe place to venture, but Merlin had never felt in danger there, perhaps because he was in effect directly under Arthur’s protection. He slipped in through the servants’ door, and stood there keeping out of the way, looking around for Sir Leon. Merlin soon spied him in the midst of a group of men, apparently spinning them some fascinating yarn. But within moments of Merlin’s gaze settling upon him, Leon looked up as if he sensed it – and then with an apologetic gesture to his companions he cut his story short and came over.

‘Merlin. Did the prince send for me?’

‘No.’ Merlin grimaced his own apology. ‘It’s just me… here… looking for you.’

Leon nodded, as if this didn’t disappoint him in the slightest. ‘What can I do for you, Merlin?’

‘Is there some place we can – talk?’

‘Of course. Come to my room.’ Leon turned – snagged a jug of ale and two goblets from a passing servant – and then tilted his head to invite Merlin to follow him.

Moments later they were in the relative peace of a chamber not much larger than Merlin’s turret room, though of a rather more regular shape. There was only one chair, which Leon gestured Merlin towards. The knight sat on the bed, poured ale into the two goblets, placed the jug on the floor, and held a goblet out to Merlin – who took it, and said, ‘Thank you.’

Leon swallowed a long mouthful of the ale, and then repeated, in slightly softer tones than had been possible in the hall, ‘What is it I can do for you?’

Merlin pondered this for a while, taking a small drink and then setting his goblet aside. Wondering how he could explain without explaining. Eventually he smiled a bit wryly at Leon, and commented, ‘So many secrets…’

Leon nodded as if he already understood. Then he said, low, ‘What you did today, Merlin, was… astonishing.’

‘Oh!’ Merlin protested, waving away such nonsense.

‘No, I mean it. I don’t think anyone else could have stopped them. You have done this kingdom – you have done us _all_ a great service.’

‘I did it for Arthur,’ Merlin explained with a shrug, thinking that this topic was hardly the point.

But perhaps it was closer than he thought, for Leon said quietly yet very directly, ‘You love him, don’t you?’

Another shrug, another wry smile. And because this was the least controversial of all the secrets encircling him, Merlin admitted, ‘Yes.’

‘The prince is,’ Leon said – before faltering. ‘We all feel that –’

‘Yes,’ said Merlin.

‘No one could want to serve anywhere other than Camelot. There’s no greater kingdom in all Albion. Yet the king makes it less –’

‘Yes.’ Cutting him off before the knight inadvertently found himself saying something treasonous in a rush of fellow feeling.

‘We all love the prince,’ Leon concluded. ‘Our hopes rest upon his shoulders. Our hearts and minds follow his own. Our honour, likewise.’

Merlin sighed, wondering if it hadn’t been so pertinent a topic after all.

But then Leon surprised him by adding, ‘Arthur is lucky to have you, Merlin.’ And, with significance, ‘Does he realise how lucky…?’

And Merlin had to grin, though it twisted his mouth with bittersweet longing. ‘No, he doesn’t realise, nor take advantage of it.’

‘Ah. Then I am sorry for his sake, as well as yours.’

After a moment, Merlin nodded his thanks for this unexpected compliment. Yet it was words, it was all words. He had come here hoping that something remorseless might obliterate his grief and turmoil, and all he’d found was kindness.

‘Leon. Forgive me. You are a civil man. A chivalrous knight. Arthur would be… Arthur would be proud of you. So very proud.’

‘Merlin –’

‘I don’t want your civility tonight, Leon. I don’t want your chivalry.’

The man stared at him, wondering.

‘And Arthur – I promise you, Arthur need never know.’

‘Merlin, perhaps you wouldn’t –’

‘ _Please_ , Leon.’

They stared at each other for long moments. And then – perhaps as he remembered trying to prevent Merlin from entering the council chambers that day, as he recalled forcing Merlin up against the wall – the light in Leon’s eyes flared.

‘Will anyone here care,’ Merlin asked, his voice strangely brittle, ‘if they hear someone cry out?’

Leon’s gaze shifted to the door for a moment, and he said roughly, ‘They would probably… comprehend. Understand. They might leave well enough alone.’

‘Well, then.’ Merlin stood. Shifted to the side, so that the chair wasn’t behind him. Shifted towards the door, just a step or two. ‘If I were to try to make a break for it…’

‘I’d have to stop you,’ Sir Leon responded, sounding somewhat dazed.

Merlin gave him a moment. Then took another step –

– and Leon surged to his feet – Leon was pushing up against Merlin, grasping two fistfuls of his tunic and shoving him back against the wall – following him closely, to hold him there with his body while his hands dropped to Merlin’s hips, grabbed them – lifted him, dragging him up the stone so that his tunic suffered abrasions even if his skin did not – until they were of a height, when Leon pressed closer still, and their mouths met _hard_.

Merlin moaned through the kiss in surrender, encouragement, need – his hands pressing against Leon’s shoulders, grasping them. ‘Please!’ he gasped as Leon’s mouth tracked lower to bite at his throat. ‘Please, no…’

Leon was too wise to listen to that last word. He ground his hips in against Merlin’s, and he voiced a guttural groan – Merlin cried out – as they felt hardness matching hardness. _‘Merlin…’_

_‘Please.’_

And the man forced a hand down between them to tug at the fastenings to Merlin’s britches. The sound of cloth tearing – Merlin didn’t care at all, indeed felt a savage urge for Leon to sunder all his clothes, destroy them utterly in his urgency – and his britches weren’t exactly snug anyway, so a moment later Merlin lowered his hands to his own hips, and was shoving his britches and linens down his thighs – while Leon, still holding Merlin painfully in place against the wall, quickly freed himself one–handed.

A moment’s doubt or confusion, then. They stared at each other, perhaps both novices in terms of the _nature_ of this encounter. But then instinct or determination saw them through. Merlin nodded once, encouraging – Leon grasped his waist firmly and took a step back – Merlin brought his knees up between them, so he ended up folded in three with his shoulder–blades pushed against the wall and his shins against Leon’s chest, his rear exposed and the air cool against his skin – and they were almost there, Leon’s cockhead brushing against him in _almost_ the right place – Leon adjusted his stance, dragged Merlin a little lower down the wall –

‘Merlin?’

‘Do it.’

– and Leon’s hands firm on his waist held him steady as he pushed bravely unerringly up into Merlin – who rolled his head against the stone, loosing a wounded cry as he struggled to cope with this abrupt invasion no matter how utterly welcome it was.

‘Merlin –’ Leon rasped, trembling as he even now held himself back.

‘My friend… _Do it._ ’

And they were rutting wildly, Merlin caught between hardness, possessed by hardness, giving himself over to hardness. And when it was finally time – moments later, years later – he wrapped one of his own hands around his cock, and echoed Leon’s hard thrusts once, twice, thrice – until his seed spurted up between them and fell with an almost–silent slap back against him, the tang of it salty in their nostrils while his body grasped harder still at Leon’s, and they almost fell as Leon cried out in his turn and spurted hot and wet within him.

♦

Leon was careful with him afterwards. Tender. Without even letting Merlin unfold let alone stand, he scooped him up in his arms, carried him to the bed and lay him down, rearranged him so that Merlin lay stretched out. Quickly tucked himself away while fetching a cloth, then gently cleaned away his own spilt seed, and Merlin’s. He brought a goblet of watered ale to Merlin, who hadn’t realised how parched he was until his throat welcomed it.

‘All right?’ Leon asked.

‘Yes. _Yes._ You…?’

‘ _Yes,_ Merlin. I –’

Merlin propped himself up on his elbows, feeling a bit wrecked still but for different reasons now. For _better_ reasons. He should, however, probably make a graceful retreat. ‘Leon, _thank you_ , but I –’

Leon had other ideas. He swiftly stepped back to the bed, lay himself down beside Merlin and took him into his arms. Merlin relaxed into the embrace with a sigh. Oh, he had needed this, too… He had needed this _so very much_.

They held each other close, and didn’t speak, but listened to each other breathing as if it were the most comforting sound in the kingdom.

And after a while Leon began again. This time, even though they performed exactly the same act – this time, it was making love. This time they were both naked, and no clothes were torn, and they were in Leon’s bed. And it was just as devastating, and Merlin cried out more than once – afterwards he found himself hoping he had cried out Leon’s name, so that Leon might strut a little amongst his fellow knights the next day – but in the midst of it, Merlin had no thought of anyone but the two of them. Afterwards he realised that he hadn’t even wished it were Arthur.

♦

They both completed again, and this time it was hot and sweet and oh so utterly perfect. Leon wasn’t so quick to clean them up this time, so they lay there sticky and sated and peaceful.

Moments later, centuries later, Leon murmured, ‘When I first came to Camelot and saw you, I thought you were still a boy. But I was wrong, wasn’t I?’

Merlin shrugged easily. ‘Maybe not at the time.’

‘You are a man now,’ Leon averred. And he commented lightly, ‘People underestimate you, don’t they?’

Merlin looked at him, but remained easy, because he saw that Leon expected no real answer, no true confession. After a moment, Merlin repeated in a whisper, ‘So many secrets.’

Leon was quiet for a while. His forefinger traced thoughtful patterns across Merlin’s chest and stomach, and then gently settled on his hip. ‘Merlin… will you visit me again? When you need to. Or… when you want to.’

‘Yes,’ said Merlin. ‘If you would like that, too.’

‘Yes,’ said Leon. Another moment passed, and then Leon said, very diffidently, ‘I know I’m not Arthur…’

And Merlin responded, ‘I know I’m not, either.’

Leon’s gaze snapped to his, but then once he’d read Merlin’s acceptance and understanding, he nodded. ‘What’s one more secret between friends?’ he observed.

‘Friends,’ Merlin echoed. And then he sighed. Began the sad task of leaving his new friend behind, and returning to his regular life.

Leon remained on the bed while Merlin dressed, and did not cover himself up, but watched Merlin with a gentle kind of interest. ‘Come back soon,’ he said when Merlin was at the door.

And Merlin glanced back at him with a smile, and promised, ‘I will.’

♦


End file.
